Playlist hits

Forgot to do this

1 – If We Are The Body : Casting Crowns

2 – In Like A Lion (Always Winter) : Relient K

3 – Kiss The Girl : Colbie Caillat

4 – From The Inside Out : Chris McClarney

5 – Dance With Me : Chris Quilala

- RebekahJayne xx ♥

Life in general

Been talking to some cool cats lately. Growing more and more discontent with the institutionof church and all the rules which need to be followed.
Like if you want to do this, you have to do it this way, and if you don’t then, sorry mate, you’re goneskees.

Is that truly what Jesus would want? I understand the need for rules to get some regulation. But sometimes I think that we get too caught up in the rules, and lose the big idea.

There are so many ignorant Christians out there, who need to open their eyes, and stop being so PC. There is a world out there that is suffering, that is desperate for what we have. But Christianity is not about going out with the intent to convert as many people as we can, it is about getting amongst those who don’t have, and giving. It’s about being the body. It’s about living our lives for others, rather than with selfish intents. We don’t need to worry about the salvation part, that is God’s area. We just have to show others Jesus through our actions, through our acceptance. Through our LOVE. Loving ourselves should be the last priority. How can we justify spending so much on ourselves, and so little on others, on those who actually need it. I guess this for me is a big up yours, to those people who seem to think it is okay to spend so much money on designer clothes. WHY?! For the name? For the ‘quality’? For the fact that it gives you a social status? I don’t know, because I don’t understand how one can justify spending $600 on 2 items of clothing. And this is at the lower end of designer shopping.

And stop giving to get. I give, because God sacrificed HIS SON for me, there is no way I can ever pay it back, He does’nt want me to either. I give because it is my way of thanking Him. WE ALREADY ARE PROSPEROUS. OUR BARNS ARE FILLED TO OVERFLOWING, AND OUR VATS BRIM OVER WITH NEW WINE. (Proverbs 3.10)
We live in countries that have so much. How dare we give with the intent of getting back. The fact I have a job, and am able to give, is already God giving to me, abundantly, I do not need more, I have more than I need.

I think we all just need to stop, and take a look around us. There are people in our social circles who may need a helping hand, but are too afraid to ask. Pray about it. Ask God to reveal where and how he wants us to use what He has placed in our hands. And even when we may look and see nothing there, others see abundance, it’s all a matter of perspective.

“Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.” Romans 15.7

It’s time for some honest, eyes open Christians to rise up. Ready to roll up their sleeves and get dirty for the cause of Christ.
Let’s stop judging, and start loving.

-RebekahJayne

Slackness Ensues

Haha now, you would think that I could at least do one or two posts before I forgot and was slack, but apparently not !

Wow, alot has happened in 2 weeks!

I’ve been sick, which has been no fun, a week pretty much on the couch. With the occasional trip out for: POW’s launch of primal-styled nights again; SG’s visit; LA’s visit; Kids Church & PHIL JOEL at Sunday night church; and work.

There have been some interesting occasions lately, also. KJ’s birthday on Sunday (KJ is one of the loveliest people I know, she makes me laugh so much, makes me smile, just constantly is a blessing in my life && I LOVE HER so much. Hah we have the coolest times – lots of car trips, music (hah Poker Face by Glee && MIKA are highly featured & memorable) We play games like “One day, in my lifetime…” And have epic soul connecting times. Babe, you are incredible & I am sooooo thank ful to God for you [thank you God, for blessing the world with such a brilliant person as KJ] Hah theres your shout out love.)

Rebekah is emotionally in a more stable place now (apart from talking about herself in the third person) I’ve been getting some cool as revelations from God, and just falling more in love with him every day. I am very much in like with him – still not sure exactly where I am going, but going deeper into him seems like a good start.

I have decided that I want to write a book Haha i dont know what about but I’m sure creativity will flow!

I’m ‘wagging’ uni today (again) but I’m still sick, and still majorly lacking energy. :/

Top 5 6 Playlist highlights this week:

® Changed – Phil Joel – the deliberatePeople album

® Learning How to Die – Jon Foreman – Fall & Winter Disc 2

® Silent Whispers – Calling Elijah – Calling Elijah EP

® Already Home – Thousand Foot Krutch – Welcome to the Masquerade

® Which to Bury, Us or the Hatchet? – Relient K – Mmhmm

® Fly – Jars of Clay – The Eleventh Hour

 

Thats it from me for today, hehe catch you on the flipside !

xx RebekahJayne ♥

When time & space are through

So, it feels like every time I write one of these I am apologising for being slack.

But this time I am actually back up & running.  Call me crazy, I love the fact that I can spill myself out here & for all I know, no one will read it.  I’m a cool kid, okay?

So a LOT has changed lately… Let’s update me

Seventeen Eighteen. Brunette fading. Single, then Taken, then Single again. oh joy. University Fail. Nannying James (8 months) & Emily (3 years). Attempting University.

Hmm, that’s pretty much me.

So, time to ramble.

There’s some really intense stuff going on around my life at the moment. But the tough thing is that I actually have no say in anything. It doesn’t directly affect me. But indirectly does in a BIG way. It’s not fun. But my prayer is that Jesus will prevail and just totally vamp up where everyone is at and create new opportunities and chances for life where there is none.

Which conveniently segways into my next issue in my life. Hah. There is a situation in my life that is real important to me, but right now it feels like it is dead. Hah, like nothing I do is remedying, and I know I should just give it space but I really don’t want to. Gahh.

Oh, and just to make me feel even better about my single status, not only are a whole lot of my friends getting into relationships, but my little 14-year old sister has a boyfriend. And my brother is very, shall we say, friendly with a girl. It feels like I’m one of the few in this place of single-dom at the moment… And the frustrating thing is that I shouldn’t be here. Grrr. Stupid orange lights. Or winter seasons, or whatever silly analogy people want to use. They’re all silly cause they’re all flawed!

Hah and faith can be challenging. Faith at the moment can mean waking up every morning and choosing God. Choosing the path that HE wants, instead of the one I’d like to lay. Choosing to smile, choosing to keep going, choosing to love people. Choosing grace and forgiveness instead of judgement and bitterness. It is not easy. But faith also means that I have a relationship with the Creator of the Universe. And for that, I am literally eternally grateful.

So this blog could go many ways right now, let’s just see how things unfold…

Oh and the most important thing of this blog, is the BIG happy birthday that is late, but definitely owed to the fabulous A, who turns 19 today (slash late by the time I upload it tomorrow). A, you truly make my life special. You are beautiful, and I think that you deserve the best life out there! Don’t ever stop seeing your beauty, cause it isn’t just external, there is SO much internal beauty to you. You actually radiate fun and joy and peace and Jesus I’m stoked I get to be a part of your life!Thank you for everything you have done for meeee! You inspire me. xo

So this is Rebekah, signing off for today. But I’ll be back haha, nannying means that I get like 2 hour slots where children sleep! It is great.

Baaaaaack

So i have been incredibly slack lately, and for that i apologise profusely, !!

But, i am back however, raring to go.. hahahha

Did you miss me?? bahahah

So, uni is going pretty good, got my first 2 assignments back this week, i got an A on the first, and a B on the second. So, not doing too badly for myself.

I’ve been a bit of a slacker lately with parties, there were 2 on the weekend, and i found excuses to miss both :O how bad am i?? LOL.

Boys are, for the first time in a long time, starting to become less important. Like, right now, there are about 3 or 4 guys who i would potentially consider dating, but the exciting thing is that I’m not dating, so i can’t!! It has really made me think. and re-evaluate what i want.

Primal tonight, it’s combined, for Get Amped, gonna be sweeeeet, get to plaster ourselves with primal stickers and be our usual crazy selves !!

I am soo grateful to God for the amazing people that are in my life. If i was to write them all out, the list would be too long, and i would inevitably forget someone :O

 

Anyway, that is all for today, will be back tomorrow, no doubt… Got to go and study for my economics test tomorrow, wish me luck!

Hello, have we met before?

Okay, so I have to admit, I’ve been rather slack when it comes to blogging lately. Have been CRAZY busy with university and all that stuff… Met some nice people , they all are friendlies potentially…

But it is incredibly exhausting, I never realised how much it would be.. I mean technically I’m doing less work than I was at school, and this is before assignments have appeared on the horizon too badly… :$

I mean I know I will enjoy it HEAPS, or so I’ve been told, but it still kind of scares me. ALOT.

Song time Italics are song title and singer. All the rest is me. Don’t get confused.

“Tell me its not true” : So it turns out the guy I like likes someone else. Pretty gutted. But oh wells. I know I have to trust that God knows what he is doing, just takes a lot of trust and I never was good at handing over the reins. I guess its cause I’m stubborn. Like surely my way is best? Even though I know that’s not true. Sucks though when a guy fits like your whole entire list, and you just clearly don’t fit theirs –Blood Brothers the Musical.

“Can’t Keep it down” : lol so me and Leah are now making themed cds for the car. Shall be very interesting, going to make the girls guess the themes. And conveniently leave cds lying around, just to spark discussions hehe. We are bad. – FAME! The Musical

“You’ll Come” : I wrote a song i was really stoked. It excites me. haha I actually wrote two, one was a birthday present to my brother,. But he doesn’t get it yet cause he’s a tool. In the nicest way possible. Although I cant express my thoughts on the boy without resorting to heavy expletive use so I wont. The other one was a worship song, about how I’d wait forever for God, cause I know that “you’ll come, let your glory fall as you respond to us”. And even if in my life I only get one more moment with him, that’s all I need, all I could ever want, and a whole lot more than I deserve. – Brooke Fraser & Hillsong United

”That’s the way I loved you.” : You know who you are. I don’t know if you are reading this. If you care anymore. But, remember, I’ll always love you And I wish I could have made things work between us… But life is life and doesn’t end up how we ever expect. I hope that one day we’ll be friends. And I want that more than I want any relationship with you. Although sometimes I do “miss screaming, and fighting, and kissing in the rain, when it’s 2am and I’m cursing your name, we were so in love that we acted insane… that’s the way I loved you.” You were unpredictable at best hehe. But we were good. And I will never ever forget you. Thank you. For teaching me about myself. And about life. And letting me be a part of your life for a while. – Taylor Swift

“”Everything” : I had a really mehh day the other day, just had no motivation whatsoever. I wanted to give up on university, and just do drama. I still want to. Haha. But i will persevere. “you tell me, how could it be any better than this… “ hahahha – Lifehouse.

Anyhoooo i should leaf now and do my study like a good girl…

 

Who am i kidding ?

How time flies

Its been a year now. A year in which so much has happened. So many of us have grown, into the young adults that you always knew we would be, but we somehow doubted, thinking life would pass us by. Leave us in an infinite childhood where we never had to deal with adult issues, decisions, and experiences.

Experiences like loss, which build us up in ways we cant even see, making us stronger and more equipped to cope. Yet in ways weaker and less equipped. Losing you made us all so much more vulnerable, like the stitches in our very person were falling apart and none of us quite knew how to deal with that. We lost so much in you. Know this, you were never simply just another teacher to me, and many others. If in my life I can impact someone the same ways you impacted me, ill be happy. In losing you I lost a mentor, a friend, an inspiration, and one of the few people who knew how to push me to succeed and who wouldn’t take no for an answer. And someone who had earned my respect in all these things. Strangely though, losing you strengthened us, brought us together in a way no one could have foreseen. As a class group we had never really gelled entirely, certain people and groups saw themselves as too exclusive for that, but somehow, someway, the majority of us bonded. Friendships were formed that may not be for life, but they got us through 2009 which was probably more important.

Stage Challenge was for you. All for you. The months and months of work, all worth it in that 8 minutes where hopefully we did good. On the night there was laughter, and tears, lots of tears. Tears cause we didn’t do as well as we thought we might, tears because it had been a long journey, but mostly tears for you. Cause you couldn’t be there to join in the day, couldn’t tell us you were proud, couldn’t join Mr D in the coming week and tell us that we had done good, and if it took wearing bright pink slut outfits to win, then we’d take losing any day.

Sometimes it felt like the times we needed you the most, you weren’t there, but looking back, those were the times we had to think for ourselves, make our own decisions. The times that led towards us moving on, moving out into the big wide world. It meant we had to think for ourselves because you weren’t there to help solve our problems, or come up with a clever solution that we couldn’t have thought of on our own. One of the things I miss the most, is the way that you used to find sneaky methods to cheat the system, but pass it off as clever, because, “we could do so many better things with our brains (or time!) than doing things the long way!”

School just wasn’t the same. For any of us last year. Monumental moments had sadness tinting their edges, in the knowledge that you weren’t there to experience life with us for 9 more months of our lives before life itself as we knew it ended. Classes, that you were meant to teach, in which you were replaced by people who could never match up to even part of you if they wanted to. Teachers who had no comprehension of understanding us as people. I think that’s why we respected you so much. You actually had a genuine interest in us, you cared what happened to us outside Calculus and Maths. And we appreciated that so much, but never told you, because you weren’t into soppy stuff like that. I wish we’d had the nerve to force you to listen to us. I wish we’d spent a day every year where we just told you how amazing you were.I wish it had been easier without you. I almost wish I didn’t care about you so much. That way, going on might have been easier…

We tried. So damn hard, Miss. And sometimes trying just got too painful. And so we ended up distracting ourselves. No one ended up where we thought we would or where even you thought we would. Which is kind of scary. Because the things you had in mind for us, we will never know. So the futures you wanted for us, are just possibilities to grow dusty in the attic of our minds.

There are so many things I wish I could say to you right now.

But words dont do it. They can’t encompass the enormity of it. Of my love for you.

I miss you, Miss Kirby. And I love you. Thank you for everything you did for me at school, and all the time you invested in pushing me to the best i could be. I will never forget you. See you later, someday we’ll meet again. I have faith in that.. xx ♥

"The pain will ease, and I can learn” – Rent the Musical

“Only the good die young, they’re only flying too close to the sun, and we’ll remember, forever… Another tricky situation, I get to drowning in the blues, and I find myself thinking, well, what would you do?” – Queen, No One But You (Only the Good Die Young)

 

 

♥ WWKD???? – What Would Kirby Do???? ♥

Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep

So its 2:28am. I was asleep for a grand total of 2 hours tonight. It rather depresses me actually.

But I was woken up Oh Joy! By a raging sore throat. And runny nose, and the desperate need for a glass of water. Waking up needing water is one of the most dangerous things ever, because as soon as you actually let yourself have the thought, you can’t go back to sleep without getting that glass of water. The action of getting it however inevitably ends with you being wide awake and unable to sleep again until you have tired yourself out. Hence, the blogging world receiving my presence again.

I have been out of action for a couple of weeks, sadly L

I got offered the chance to work for a week and a half in a kindergarten fully paid, and so of course I said YES. Also we made the much anticipated trip to TGA which was INCREDIBLE, the perfect girls road trip, minus Pokeno for ice cream – Sad face, and plus Keegan for the ride home. Haha thing is, now were hooked. Well I speak for myself right there, the other two are more caught up with uni and stuff at the moment. But I am keen for a real, awesome road trip. A way to bond even more… Kind of Crossroads style. You know the old school BSpears movie? Yehhhh, girls’ trips. Honestly they make my life.

I also spent a weekend at the Parachute music festival at Mystery Creek. Was soooooo much fun. Went down on Thursday night, being crew (yeaaaaaah boy, yellow band ) in yet another girls car, this time with 3 girls i’d never met before. The experience was actually quite enjoyable, contrary to my expectations. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I was sure they’d be nice girls, but if your personalities clash, or it’s really awkward, the 2-3 hour trip can be painful. But the girls, Kirsty (another one J ), Eden, and Danielle, proved to be pretty much awesome. Defo friends on facebook material

Haha meaaan sidetrack. And i even had a good segway L

Soo back to the water and sleeping thing. I can only think of one other moment in life when this is glaringly obvious, a moment that has the potential to be more deadly than the water one.

Most girls will be able to relate to it, i mean i have no clue about the boys, since frankly, im not one!

But, anyway. Has anyone else noticed that when you start to notice the glimmer of liking of someone, its nothing until you mention it to someone else, or even let your mind play with the idea of actually having feelings for them. It’s like, you know they’re there but when you let the thought form, you fall a whole lot more? Which can be so fatal. And the second you tell someone about it is when the blushing starts, the butterflies when you see them, the awkward greetings, because really what you are saying (well what i am saying according to Dylan…) is “Oh <insert name here>, Let me touch your guns, etc etc, Hold me, blah blah.”

I still don’t know where this boys theories come from, but apparently thats what i think and feel…?

Im confused by it too. Because i honestly don’t notice things about people until it gets pointed out to me. And then its toooo late and thats me, gone burgers. Hahahaha

Anyhooo, Rebekah is starting to snooze.

New laptop though so will hopefully be able to create more updates for y’all. More often. Yay.

Night night x

One More Day

I’m growing up.

It scares the heck out of me. I have officially got 110 days, 7 hours, 31 minute and 26 seconds until I’m 18.

That is:

110 days of being a child.

I know most teenagers can’t wait until they turn 18, and there are things I can’t wait for. But the inner child of mine isn’t quite ready to let of kidness.

I, like my close friends, generally act more like a 6 or 7 year old than the 17, nearly 18 year old that i am. Truth be told, I love childishness.
I am the girl who still enjoys watching Disney movies and singing along and has a tinkerbell duvet cover.

I am also very mature hehe before anyone thinks im one of those weird people who are intellectually all there but never grow up, and end up living at home until they are OLD. Intellectually all there, growing up, just enjoying things while i can.

Me, Sharyn and Kirsty spent an afternoon at the house sitting house up at Muriwai last Wednesday. This meant missing youth group, which i was slightly gutted about, but it was an opportunity that just had to be taken.

See we made a list this year. A list of all the things we had to do before uni started. It all came about with one of those Rebekah moments where i get REAAAALLY excited about something, the first one was a tea party. Then i decided we needed to have a teddy bears picnic. Kirsty thought we were in need of a road trip to TGA (Tauranga, NZ for those not in the know… ). Kirsty’s resolution was to do things she planned, and we’ve all kinda jumped on with it!

So while we were at the house / our signal spot, we drafted a list, which seems to be getting bigger and bigger!

Here is just a taste:
-3 musketeers 2010-

♥ Gym dates 3x a week
♥ Another trip to Candyland, to make lollipops
♥ Walk the 22 km round trip from Muriwai to Bethells
♥ Visit the Avondale markets
♥ Camp out under the stars
♥ Disney sleepover
♥ Cook dinner together once a month
♥ Do an evening class of some description each month
♥ Learn to survive in the real world (aka learn to cook and shop etc, basically wife training )
♥ Visit photo booths
♥ Make our own 2011 calendars over the year with photos of us

And it just keeps getting more and more.

But all this got me thinking about how unprepared i am as a person for the big wide world. I feel ill-equipped to deal with the issues that will confront me in my day to day life. Dealing with uni is already doing my head in, and i dont start for another month!!

So im going to spend each of these 110 days i have left to enjoy the freedoms i have, the lack of responsibilities, and the opportunities to do crazy things.

So if you see me and i do stupid childish stuff, that’s why.

Cause im just enjoying one day more of childhood, before its gone forever.

xx

Chocolates & Roses

So, I’ve set myself a new years resolution. I know its late (3 weeks!) but its still the new year right? And i forgot the ones i made in the first place….

My resolution is not dating until after my birthday. That means just under 4 months of defo no dating. Until 2010 – 05 – 23. Now that might not seem like a long time in the scheme of things. But four months is a LONG time. Especially when i’ve been ‘involved’ with someone, just not official.

4 months which oh so conveniently contains Valentines Day. Now dont get me wrong i think it is a ridiculously overcommercialised excuse to sell chocolates & roses, but i turn 18 this year. And i have been single for every one of those 17 Valentines. (Or is it 16?)

So, as 2009 ended, i had almost looked forward with anticipation to the thought of having a Valentine…. I mean what girl doesnt? But then i get that inevitable tugging at the heartstrings and a voice in the back of my head which ends up with yet another Feb 14 where i am forced to “date” a girl.

I love my girls, but there is some part of me that REALLY wants to have a boy spoil me. I have been given flowers by a boy on two occasions in my life, once at each of my school balls.

I love flowers. They also make me sad, cause like everything in this world, they die. They’re like a reminder that nothing is permanent. “Nothing is so good it lasts eternally, perfect situations must go wrong. But this has never yet prevented me wanting far too much for far too long” (I Know Him So Well – Chess the Musical)

I guess thats where their beauty is though. Like the way they can hold so much meaning, that they can say SOOO much, they have so much symbolism. Case point : Hilary Duff movie, The Perfect Man

Chocolates and Roses… Chocolates, tbh i can do without. “a moment on the lips, forever on your hips…” but flowers. Flowers could potentially be the way to a girls heart. Watch above movie to ensure the right way…. :] Of course it also helps if you fit the list…

The list. Defining the perfect boy. Each girls is different.
But the list can be fatal to a male. It can shoot down any hope they have with us.

Basic rundown of mine, according to Kirsty + some movie reasonings…
Awkward (Bleeker from Juno)
Confident
Hot (Kostos from The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants)
Cute
Shy
Outgoing
Nerdy
A jock (Puck or Finn from Glee)
Tanned but pale? (Thats kirsty… IDK???)
MUSICALLY INCLINED (Christian from Moulin Rouge… *swooon*)
+ LOVE GOD.

I dont think i’m asking too much, its in my prayer box, so its out of my hands now.

But on the plus side, I’ve been told i make a brilliant boyfriend. So I am now on the look out for a Valentine, female this year, it shouldnt be too hard, if you’re keen…. Lemme know ahahhahahha.

Hahaha how much have i quantum leaped in this? Ill try and be better next time…
Adios, bed time for Bex.

P.S. TEDDY BEARS PICNIC TOMORROW